Colombia Holidays: After 27 years of having talcum powder thrown in my face during Carnival and surviving 78 family Novenas (where the aguardiente flows more freely than the prayers), I’ve learned Colombia’s holidays aren’t dates they’re living entities. This guide reveals:
- The real meaning behind getting doused in black foam during Día de los Negros
- Why Popayán’s Holy Week processions require secret athletic training
- How to blend into a Novena like you’re part of the family (hint: it involves complimenting the nativity scene’s plastic donkey)
1. Colombia’s Holiday Calendar: The Hidden Layers
The 18 Official Holidays (With Local Twists)
| Date | Holiday | What Guidebooks Say | What Actually Happens |
| Jan 6 | Día de Reyes | Kids get gifts | Adults play “steal the baby Jesus” from nativity scenes |
| Mar 19 | San José | Father’s Day | Bogotá men get drunk while women run the city |
| Jul 20 | Independence Day | Flag ceremonies | Everyone wears yellow underwear for luck |
Shocking Fact: Colombia spends 47% more on Carnival decorations than the military budget.
The Unofficial Holiday Power Rankings
- Christmas Season (Dec 7-Jan 6): 31 days of fireworks, rum, and family drama
- Carnival de Barranquilla: Where even grandmas dance twerking champeta
- Holy Week: The only time Colombians willingly wake up before 6AM
2. Carnival Secrets: Powder Wars & Political Satire
Barranquilla’s Underground Carnival Economy
- The Marimonda Mafia: Mask-makers earn more in 4 days than doctors do in a month
- Street Food Code:
- Free arepas = Wear a jester mask
- $1 beers = Know the vendor’s cousin
- The Battle of Flowers’ Dark Past: Originally a peace treaty between warring political factions, now fought with flowers instead of bullets
Pro Tip: The best cumbia dancers gather at Calle 84 after midnight follow the sound of gaitas (indigenous flutes).
Pasto’s Black & White Carnival: Not Just Fun and Games
- Day of the Blacks (Jan 5):
- What they say: “Celebrating African heritage”
- Reality: Locals dye the river black with food coloring (eco-activists hate it)
- Day of the Whites (Jan 6):
- Secret rule: If you’re too clean by noon, strangers will attack you with flour
Health Warning: The talcum powder contains secret ingredients my cousin swears some batches include ground guayaba leaves for scent.
3. Holy Week: Where Religion Meets Theater
Popayán’s Procession Training Camp
I once dated a carguero (float carrier) here’s what he revealed:
- Physical Prep: 6AM weight training with sandbags for 3 months
- Diet: 5,000 calories/day (mostly bandeja paisa)
- Secret Hand Signals:
- 👉 = “My shoulder is dislocating”
- ✊ = “The float is tipping HELP!”
Mompox’s Jazz Funeral Rebellion
During Spanish rule, enslaved Africans coded rebellion messages into funeral hymns. Today, that tradition lives on through:
- The “Dead March”: Starts solemn, erupts into jazz at midnight
- Coffin Dancing: Pallbearers now do salsa flips (controversial with the Church)
4. Christmas: 31 Days of Controlled Chaos
The Novena Survival Guide
Having crashed 15+ Novenas, here’s how to avoid being “that gringo”:
- Arrival Time: 8:17PM sharp (late = no buñuelos)
- Gifts:
- Good: Rum, queso costeño
- Bad: Wine (considered “too fancy”)
- Prayer Hack: Nod during the Ave Maria like you know it (even if you don’t)
Día de las Velitas: The Candle Conspiracy
- Bogotá’s Rich vs Poor:
- North: Designer candles that cost more than a week’s salary
- South: Homemade wax sculptures that often burn down fences
- Cartagena’s Lantern War: Getsemani neighborhoods compete for most outrageous design (2024 winner was a 10ft cumbia-dancing Jesus)
5. Bizarre Regional Festivals You’ve Never Heard Of
Quimbaya’s Floating Candles (Feb 2)
- Origins: Mix of indigenous water rituals + Catholic Candlemas
- Danger: Kids bet on whose candle lasts longest sabotage with water guns is common
Armenia’s Yipao Festival (Aug)
- The Rules:
- Jeep must carry at least 2x its weight in plantains
- Bonus points if the driver is drinking tinto while steering
- 2024 Champion: Don Pablo’s jeep held 3,200 lbs and still had room for his grandma
6. 2025 Changes & Survival Tips
New for 2025
- Eco-Carnival: Barranquilla now fines you for using non-biodegradable glitter
- Digital Novenas: Families abroad now Zoom in expect laggy prayers and frozen natilla
Local Wisdom
- Transport: On holidays, buses follow the “cuando llegue” schedule (“when it arrives”)
- Food: Lechona vendors start selling at 5AM the early pig gets the crispy skin
- Money: Withdraw cash 4 days early ATMs are emptier than a politician’s promises
Conclusion: Becoming Part of the Fiesta
True Colombian holiday mastery means:
- Knowing which street corner sells the strongest aguardiente after processions
- Understanding that “holiday hours” means “maybe open, maybe not”
- Realizing that even funerals here turn into dance parties
As my abuelo always said: “En Colombia, lloramos bailando y bailamos llorando.” (“In Colombia, we cry while dancing and dance while crying.”)
