Altitude Realities (68% Get Sick)
Ecuador Quito: Quito’s elevation hits harder than most expect. During my first week, I woke up gasping at 3 AM, convinced I was dying. Here’s what I learned:
First 72 Hour Protocol:
- Day 1: Cancel all plans. Your body is struggling with 30% less oxygen. I made the mistake of climbing Basilica steps and nearly fainted.
- Day 2: Hydrate with local remedies. “Horchata lojana” (herbal tea) from Mercado Iñaquito helps more than bottled water.
- Day 3: Test limits gently. Try walking to “El Panecillo” before attempting Rucu Pichincha.
Emergency Kit:
- Coca leaves (legal and effective) – $1 bag at San Francisco Market
- “Agua de pipa” (young coconut) – $1.50 from vendors near Plaza San Francisco
- Oxygen cans – $8 at “Fybeca” pharmacies (worth every cent)
Transportation Lies Exposed
The metro is Quito’s biggest disappointment. During rainy season (Jan-Apr), breakdowns occur:
Real Transit Guide:
| Option | Price | Insider Tip | Risk Factor |
| Ecovía | $0.35 | Board at “El Ejido” before 7:30 AM | Pickpockets |
| Trolebús | $0.25 | “C4” route avoids worst crowds | Breakdowns |
| Cabify | $5-8 | Verify license plate matches app | Fake cars |
Taxi Horror Story:
One driver switched cars mid-ride near Mariscal. Always:
- Photograph license plate before entering
- Share live location with someone
- Keep $20 “emergency bail” in your sock
2. Neighborhood Secrets (Beyond La Ronda)
La Floresta: Quito’s True Hipster Hub
While tourists crowd the Historic Center, locals know:
Café Mosaico Secrets:
- Arrive by 4 PM for sunset (bring jacket – winds get brutal)
- Order “canelazo” but ask for “poco alcohol” (they overpour)
- Hidden back room has best city views
Libri Mundi Underground:
The “cookbook section” hides:
- Banned political memoirs
- Indigenous rights manifestos
- Che Guevara’s original Ecuador letters (photocopies $5)
Old Town After Dark
Safety changes block by block:
6-8 PM:
- Safe: Plaza Grande to La Ronda
- Dangerous: Any alley off Calle Flores
8-10 PM:
- “Seguro” spots: St. Augustine Church steps
- “No-go” zones: Behind City Museum
After 10 PM:
- Only take orange-plated taxis
- Avoid withdrawing from ATMs
- Carry a decoy wallet ($10 in small bills)
3. Food Secrets That’ll Save You Money
Mercado Central Hacks
The second floor is where locals eat:
Doña Clara’s Stall:
- $1.50 lunch (soup, rice, protein, juice)
- Comes with a free “refill” if you say “¿Puedo repetir?”
- Closes at 2 PM sharp
Illegal Cut (Guinea Pig):
- Sundays only
- Back corner near butcher stalls
- $8 whole, $5 half
- They’ll deny having it – say “Pedro me envió”
Modern Quito Dining
Nuema’s $120 Menu Secrets:
- 12 courses but you can request half portions
- Their “Amazonian ant” course is optional
Casa Gangotena Happy Hour:
- 4-6 PM daily
- Order “chicha sour” (not on menu)
- Tip well and they’ll open rooftop early
4. Day Trips (Skip Mitad del Mundo)
Pululahua Crater
The “real” equator experience:
Getting There:
- $1 bus from Ofelia Terminal (Gate 14)
- Departs 7 AM, returns 4 PM
- Last-minute seats sell out by 6:30 AM
Hidden Trail:
Ask for “camino a las cascadas” (waterfall path):
- 45 minute hike
- Ends at thermal springs
- Guide recommended ($10 tip)
Museum Scam:
The “official” equator line is fake. Real GPS coordinates:
- 0° 0′ 7.8″ N (240m north of museum)
- Free to visit
- Local kids will demonstrate “equator tricks” for $1
5. Safety: Hard Lessons Learned
Scams That Got Me
Fake Police:
- Two men in vests stopped me near Plaza Foch
- Demanded to “check wallet for counterfeit bills”
- Real officers never do this
Taxi Plate Switch:
- Driver pulled into gas station “for air”
- Switched to unregistered car
- Demanded $50 to continue trip
Market Teams:
- Woman “accidentally” spills juice on you
- “Helpful” stranger picks your pocket while “assisting”
Proven Protection System
Daypack Rules:
- Wear backwards in crowds
- Use carabiner to clip to belt loop
- Line with aluminum foil (blocks RFID scanners)
Emergency Phrases:
- “¡Necesito un policía!” (I need police)
- “¡Ladrón!” (Thief!) – draws crowd fast
- “¡Fuego!” (Fire!) – last resort
6. Festivals Worth Rescheduling For
Fiesta de la Luz (August)
Best Viewing:
- Basílica north tower (arrive by 4:30 PM)
- Secret spot: Hotel Patio Andaluz rooftop ($10 bribe)
Afterparty:
- La Capilla del Hombre hidden terrace
- Password: “Guayasamín vive”
- Bring warm clothes – gets freezing
Inti Raymi (June)
Saquisilí Market:
- Arrive by 5 AM for animal auctions
- Don’t photograph without paying ($1 per shot)
- Try “chicha de jora” (fermented corn drink)
Water Fight Rules:
- Protect cameras with waterproof case
- Locals target foreigners first
- Fight back or get soaked
7. Underground Quito
Alternative Nightlife
Bochinche Brewery:
- Wednesday activist nights
- Order “IPA de la Resistencia”
- Don’t discuss politics with strangers
La Juliana Speakeasy:
- Behind fridge at “La Purísima” bakery
- Password changes weekly (ask bartenders at “Bandido Brewing”)
- Cash only
Indigenous Reality
CONAIE Meetings:
- Every Wednesday 3 PM
- Address: Calle Granados 255
- Foreigners welcome but stay quiet
Protest Calendar:
- Check “El Comercio” Monday editions
- Red zones change hourly
- Carry passport copy at all times
